So as my previous post detailed, it’s been full on in our household due to mum’s fractured tailbone. My role as a carer has been stretched and I was struggling to deal with my own mental health as well as care for someone else. When that some one else is my own mother it’s even harder because of the emotional attachment involved.
My mum has been angry, depressed, in pain and frustrated with the whole situation. So caring for her has made me even more depressed, anxious, angry and frustrated. It’s a far too common occurrence all over the world and there isn’t a great lot that can be done about it other than to try and get some respite. I am lucky enough to have a partner who is more than capable of taking on the role of carer for a night so I could just get out of the house and away from everything.
I spent the night with my daughter who was also having a break from motherhood. The two year old toddler has been quite the little wobbler in recent weeks. Oh how I don’t miss those days!
We simply had what we decided to call a ‘respite night’. No responsibilities, no deadlines, no actual anything that HAS to be done. The time flew by of course but we also got to have a really good chat about our lives, about the people we are surrounded by and about our own mental wellbeing. My daughter suffers anxiety which has steadily increased over the last couple of years.
Her situation and my bipolar make for some really interesting conversations. We are very honest with each other and don’t hide the ugly sides of ourselves. In fact we gleefully out the ugly sides. It’s a relief to be able to just let it all out and not have to put our game face on for anyone. We can laugh, joke and be as sarcastic as we like and nobody is there to say tsk tsk.
Our night away was wonderful albeit short. I am so thankful to my partner. I am much more aware of the changes that need to me made to meet my mum’s needs, but also my own. We’re not a typical combination I guess. Dealing with bipolar while being a carer is certainly confronting because there’s no running, no avoiding – just front on in your face reality. Deal with it we must – but not at the cost of my sanity. Not at the cost of my own life with my partner, my family or friends.
So plans have been made, small steps taken to make sure that all of us in our very small circle of ‘helpers’ are all catered for and have time to do the things we want to do.
I’ve also given much thought to my treatment plan which I will detail in a later post perhaps.
Mum is on the mend, slowly. She’s been a real trooper and a real pain in the arse at the same time. That’s the honest truth. We have a policy in our home – no more crap under the carpet.
Short and sweet for today.