I don’t really know when I was an artist but of course it was in a full blown mania episode. I just knew I was going to be a famous artist. I was going to sell my prints online and everyone would be amazed by them.
I knew that everyone would understand the secret meanings of them all.
I sat up for hours – actually, all night making my creations.
I spent a fortune on art material – half of which I have no clue what it is or how to use it. I was obsessed and simply couldn’t think of anything else.
I recently brought out a whole container of my pencils for my 2 year old grandson to draw with and he immediately noticed the different feel of the pencils. Some pastel and others that I have no clue what type they are – all I know was they weren’t cheap. I figure them being used is better than sitting in my cupboard along with my other obsessions.
When this episode of mania passed – thankfully without ending up psychotic I was embarrassed by my ‘famous artist’ aspirations. But now they just serve as a reminder that the waves roll in and then they recede.
Time ticks along and the waves come and go. Some are bigger than others and unfortunately some of them drown you.
This was one of my ‘safer’ episodes of mania – I wish they were all similar but like that damn box of chocolates – you just never know which ones you will end up with. Maybe I should throw the whole box out.